Confident Woman e-zine Create the Life You Want to Live
November/December 2006


What do a messy office, a stiff back and a negative friend all have in common? They are all examples of the things we tolerate - often without realizing it - that try our patience, dull our spirit and drain our energy. This month's article will help you look at what you tolerate in various aspects of your life and help you choose what to accept (or not accept) from yourself and others.

To your health, happiness and success,


In this Issue
  • Women's Radio Interview
  • What Do You Tolerate in Your Life?
  • Success Stories
  • Thank You

  • What Do You Tolerate in Your Life?

    What do a messy office, a stiff back and a negative friend all have in common?

    They are all examples of the things we tolerate - often without realizing it - that try our patience, dull our spirit and drain our energy. They may be so subtle, of such long standing, or so widely held as normal that they don’t feel like something we tolerate but more like “that's just the way life is.”

    The fundamental principle here is that the universe treats us just as well as we demand to be treated. Yet, we often move through life accepting less than the best from ourselves and others. Furthermore, it costs us our vitality every time we tolerate something that really isn't up to our standards.

    If you are committed to making changes that will bring you greater peace of mind and happiness, looking at what you tolerate in your life is a great, empowering place to start.

    Here’s how to get started:

    - Make a list of three things you put up with in the various areas of your life: home, work, health, romance, friends and family, money, recreation, and environment.

    - Looking at your list, what items do you choose to minimize or eliminate? By starting with baby steps, you give yourself the permission to succeed and build confidence. If, for example, you choose to minimize your messy office, start by trying to clean up your desk or bookshelves.

    - By taking a deeper look, you may find that there are limiting beliefs that have supported you in putting up with these things for so long. In the case of the messy office, you may think to yourself: “I don’t have time to clean this up” or “I’ve always been disorganized”. Or, for other things you tolerate, perhaps some of the following thoughts sound familiar: “That’s just how it is”; “That’s the price I have to pay”; “Don’t rock the boat”; “Don’t make a big deal out of it.” Try adding the words “until now” onto the end of your negative beliefs and see what happens.

    - What is the benefit of continuing to tolerate these things? There is usually some kind of payoff – even if it’s as simple as maintaining the status quo. What part of you does not want things to change? Revisiting the messy office example, perhaps you find some comfort in holding onto old files "just in case you need them". Acknowledge that part of you that doesn't want to change.

    - With your friends, family or coach, develop a strategy for eliminating or minimizing each item on your list. Commit to making real changes. In the case of the messy office, you may choose to set aside a half hour every Friday afternoon to clean up your desk. You can then expand this to other weekly action items until your entire office is exactly the way you want it. Create a support network for accountability, feedback and celebration to help you along your path to success.

    As you choose to minimize or eliminate what you tolerate, you will enjoy greater confidence, joy and empowerment. Now that you're in the driver's seat of your life, be sure to enjoy the ride!

    Amber Rosenberg is the owner of Pacific Life Coach, a life and business coaching company that guides entrepreneurs, small business owners and other professionals to success on their own terms doing what they love. She is a contributor to the book 'Inspiration to Realization', a self-help book for women, a popular speaker, and a writer for Know Yourself Magazine. She also has 10 years marketing and PR experience for Fortune 500 companies and non-profit organizations. To sign-up for a COMPLIMENTARY half-hour phone coaching session, order a signed copy of her book or sign-up for the Confident Woman FREE monthly e-zine, go to

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    Women's Radio Interview

    Check back next month to listen to an interview with Women's Radio on my book and coaching practice.

    If you're looking for a meaningful holiday gift for your wife, mother, sister or girlfriend - look no more. Order your signed copy of the women's self-help book Inspiration to Realization at:

    About the Book: I'm a contributing author to "Inspiration to Realization."

    Reviewed by Entrepreneur Magazine as 'summer's best bets for women', My chapter is called: ‘How to Manage Your Love/Hate Relationship with Time’.

    Other chapters focus on: how to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty; tools to discover your secret weapon against stress; how to turn your small business into a brand-name success and much more.

    “The collective wisdom in this book is a critical resource for women who want to bring joy and fulfillment into their lives...every day."
    -- Ruth King, Author, The Ugly Truth about Small Business

    Success Stories:
    “Amber has a special talent for what she does. She has helped me to overcome obstacles and realize my dreams.”
    -- Strategic Technology Analyst, San Jose, CA

    "After sessions with Amber, I feel like I've had two glasses of my favorite red wine or a therapeutic massage. She also really knows how to challenge me and has helped me to get back into exercise and to feel great about carving out time for myself."
    -- Sales Manager, San Francisco, CA

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